The negative thoughts of 2015

"Cause you never think that the last time is the last time. You think there will be more. You think you have forever, but you don't."

March 27, 2015

As long as I don't feel my heart, as long as I don't understand what my mind is saying. I'll be okay. As long as I'm drunk, consuming all these alcohol will make me feel betters. Fuck everybody and what they think of me. I'm who I am because of me. My happiness depend on nobody else but myself. As long as I'm happy, don't step foot my way. Keep that I mind before you fuck with me. 

April 2015

Sometime, I wish I can just talk to you. Where we can just talk forever. About anything and everything. I want to sleep, sleep forever. I am so stress and you can't even ask me about my day. You just call and sleep. This shit is getting so boring to the fact I don't want even want to stay on the phone. I expect us to talk about everything at the end of the night, during the time were not talking or with each other. Just everything so it will fill in my day at least. Show some kind of affection to that we or at least you actually care about this. I'm typing this up because I have no one to talk to. No even my boyfriend want to listen to me talk. It's just nagging and when I don't say or talk to him... It's me hiding thing or lying. I am so stressed out. I just want to die.... Just die and get away from this fucked up place. Jdjdkdjdndkxkdjdkfldldlxoco fuck you and everyone in this fucking BITCH..

August 8, 2015

I had this gut feeling all along. I knew he was still contacting his ex. He still has feelings for her. But I was in denial and wasblind to see it. 

All I'm asking is for him to tell me the truth. Not waste my or his time. It hurts to know the truth, but it's better to find out now than later. 

November 10, 2015

Am I really happy? Is this what I really want in life? I get upset so often now. My heart aches more than it should be. What should I do? I know he's not a bad boyfriend. Am I asking for too much for him to just be nice.  Maybe I am because I'm not being nice? Fuck.... I don't like this feeling at all... Unloved when I know I am. That's not fairX life isn't fair. You get what you get and that's all... Be bless and grateful for what you have, cause there are others out there who have it worst....

Worry about yourself. &Love and be successful for yourself. Fuck them and do you.

Then one day... there will be no more...